Random Thoughts from Larry, The Cable Guy

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 52.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

6. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

7. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

8. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.

9. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

10. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

11. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

12. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

13. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

14. What happens if you get "scared half to death", twice?

15. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, what happened?